Hangover scale

[HealerKat]

Hangover scale

Hangover Scale.

One Star Hangover (*)

No pain. No real feeling of illness. You're able to function
relatively well. However, you are still parched. You can drink 5 sodas and still feel this way. For some reason, your are craving a philly sub and steak fries.

Two Star Hangover (**)

No pain, but something is definitely amiss. You may look okay but you
have the mental capacity of a staple gun. The coffee you are chugging
is only increasing your rumbling gut, which is still tossing around
the fruity pancake from the 3:00 AM Waffle House excursion. There is some definite havoc being wreaked upon your bowels.

Three Star Hangover (***)

Slight headache. Stomach feels crappy. You are definitely not
productive. Anytime a girl walks by you gag because her perfume
reminds you of the flavored schnapps' shots your alcoholic friends dared you to drink. Life would be better right now if you were home in your bed watching Lucy reruns. You've had 4 cups of coffee, a gallon of water,3 iced teas and a diet Coke-yet you haven't peed once.

Four Star Hangover (****)

Life sucks. Your head is throbbing. You can't speak too quickly or else you might puke. Your boss has already lambasted you for being
Late and has given you a lecture for reeking of booze. You wore nice clothes, but that can't hide the fact that you only shaved one side of your face. (for the ladies, it looks like you put your make-up on while
riding the bumper cars.) Your eyes look like one big red vein and even
your hair hurts. Your sphincter is in perpetual spasm, and the first
of about five shits you take during the day makes the eyes water of everyone who enters the bathroom.

Five Star Hangover (*****)

You have a second heartbeat in your head, which is actually annoying
the employee who sits in the next cube. Vodka vapor is seeping out of
every pore and making you dizzy. You still have toothpaste crust in
the corners of your mouth from brushing your teeth in an attempt to get the remnants of the poop fairy out. Your body has lost the ability to generate saliva so your tongue is suffocating you. You don't have the
foggiest idea who the hell the stranger was passed out in your bed
this morning. Any attempt to defecate results in a fire hose like discharge of alcohol-scented fluid with a rare 'floater' thrown in. The sole purpose of this 'floater' seems to be to splash the toilet water all over your ass. Death sounds pretty good about right now.

[Fao]

I believe the ** and above causes you to crave milk in the morning when you are coherent enough determine the refrigerator is not the door to the bathroom.

Fao