Cerberus guild

Baby Bear goes downstairs and sits in his small chair at the table, he looks
into his small bowl.

It is empty. "Who's been eating my porridge?!!", he squeaks.

Papa Bear arrives at the big table and sits in his big chair. He looks into
his big bowl and it is also empty. "Who's been eating my porridge?!!", he
roars.

Momma Bear puts her head through the serving hatch from the kitchen and
yells, "For Heaven's sake, how many times do we have to go through this with
you idiots? It was Momma Bear who got up first, it was Momma Bear who woke
everyone in the house, it was Momma Bear who made the coffee, it was Momma
Bear who unloaded the dishwasher from last night and put everything away.
It was Momma Bear who went out in the cold early morning air to fetch the
newspaper, it was Momma Bear who set the damn table, it was Momma Bear who
put the frigging cat out, cleaned the litter box and filled the cat's water
and food dish and now that you've decided to drag your sorry bear-asses
downstairs, and grace Momma Bear's kitchen with your grumpy presence, listen
good, cause I'm only going to say this one more time.



I HAVEN'T MADE THE F*****G PORRIDGE YET!!

A bus carrying only ugly people crashes into an oncoming truck, and everyone
inside dies.

They then get to meet their maker, and because of the grief they have
experienced he decides to grant them one wish each, before they enter
Paradise.

They're all lined up, and God asks the first one what the wish is.

"I want to be gorgeous," and so God snaps His fingers, and it is done.

The second one in line hears this and says "I want to be gorgeous too."

Another snap of His fingers and the wish is granted.

This goes on for a while but when God is halfway down the line, the last guy
in line starts laughing.

When there are only ten people left, this guy is rolling on the floor,
laughing his ass off.



Finally, God reaches this guy and asks him what his wish will be.



The guy calms down and says: "Make 'em all ugly again".

ROFL Some fun at work was never bad...

but what about Grumpy Bear?

A man walks into a bar thats on the 25th floor of a building in manhaten.
He sit down and gets a beer and the guy next to him strikes up a conversation and says "you know the way the wind current is beweeen these two buildings you can jump out the window do 3 flips and it will suck you back in". The man is like "sure buddy have another beer". He says "no, I swear lemee finish this beer and I'll prove it to you." So, he finishes his beer, Jumps out the window does 3 flips and comes right back in. The Man was amazed !!!!! "How did you do that" he asked!?!?The man said " I told you its just teh way that the wind currents are, everyone does it, wanna try." the other man says "No way thats to high".

A little time passes and the other man has a few more beers and says " you know what, I'm gonna do it."

He steps to the window jumps out falls 25 stories and lands on a cab.

The bartender looks at the man and says " Damn Superman you sure are a dick when your drunk"

wakka wakka...........

oh and btw lol and sorry I had to hijack the thread

hehe, its for ppl to add to, dont worry. I was in a rush and know I have another thread like it down the list but couldnt find it