Things I'd Do If I Ever Became An Evil Overlord

[Hejiro]

5. The artifact which is the source of my power will not be kept on the Mountain of Despair beyond the River of Fire guarded by the Dragons of Eternity. It will be in my safe-deposit box. The same applies to the object which is my one weakness.

[BigSwede]

76. I will never invite any secret agents to my lair to show them my evil plan before I kill them.

[Hejiro]

7. When I've captured my adversary and he says, "Look, before you kill me, will you at least tell me what this is all about?" I'll say, "No." and shoot him. Actually, on second thought I'll shoot him, then say "No."


heh, I love this list Wonder who comes up with it all

[Cogs]

hmm, Im missing the point, methinks

Cogs

[Hejiro]

It's basically a send-up of all the plots in movies/books, where the bad guys are written to do stupid things to ensure the good guys survive and succeed.


9. I will not include a self-destruct mechanism unless absolutely necessary. If it is necessary, it will not be a large red button labeled "Danger: Do Not Push". The big red button marked "Do Not Push" will instead trigger a spray of bullets on anyone stupid enough to disregard it. Similarly, the ON/OFF switch will not be clearly be labeled as such.