;)
Posted: Thu Nov 03, 2005 7:07 am>European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English
>will be the official language of the European Union rather than
>German, which was the other possibility.
>
>
>As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that
>English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-
>year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".
>
>
>
>In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will
>make the sivil servants jump with joy.
>
>
>The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
>konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
>
>
>There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
>troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
>fotograf 20% shorter.
>
>
>In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted
>to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
>
>
>Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have
>always ben a deterent to akurate speling.
>
>
>Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag
>is disgrasful and it should go away.
>
>
>By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th"
>with "z" and "w" with "v".
>
>
>During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining
>"ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
>
>
>Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
>understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
>
>
>Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in
>ze forst plas.
>will be the official language of the European Union rather than
>German, which was the other possibility.
>
>
>As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that
>English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-
>year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".
>
>
>
>In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will
>make the sivil servants jump with joy.
>
>
>The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
>konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
>
>
>There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
>troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
>fotograf 20% shorter.
>
>
>In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted
>to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
>
>
>Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have
>always ben a deterent to akurate speling.
>
>
>Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag
>is disgrasful and it should go away.
>
>
>By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th"
>with "z" and "w" with "v".
>
>
>During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining
>"ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
>
>
>Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
>understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
>
>
>Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in
>ze forst plas.
