Cerberus guild

A man and his wife were awakened one stormy, wet night by a knock at the front door. The man got up, got dressed, put his shoes on and went to answer it. He opened the door and another man was stood there in the pouring rain. 'Yes? Can I help you?' said the owner of the house. 'Yes, I know it's late and I'm sorry but I was wondering if I could have a push'
The owner replied 'It's 3am in the morning, no you cant, now go away!!' And with that, he closed the front door, walked upstairs, got undressed and climbed back into bed.

'Who was that?' asked his wife.
'Oh, just a man wanting a push at 3am in the morning' he replied.
'And you said no?' she said 'I remember when we broke down one night and you asked those men for a push and they helped us!!!' she went on. 'That could have been you out there in the rain!!'
'You're right' he said 'I'll go and help him'

So the man got dressed, put his shoes on and went downstairs to open the front door. There was noone there but the man shouted into the darkness and rain 'Hello !!!!!'

'Hello !!' Came the reply from outside.

'Do you still want a push???' The owner of the house shouted.

'Yes' came the reply.

'Where are you???' shouted the man.

'I'm over here on the swing'

hehe

A fire fighter is polishing a fire engine outside the station when
he notices a little girl next door in a little red wagon with little ladders hung off the side and a garden hose tightly coiled in the middle. The little girl is wearing a fire fighter's helmet and has the wagon tied to a dog and cat. The fire fighter walks over to take a closer look,

"That sure is a nice fire truck," the fire fighter says with admiration.

"Thanks," the girl says. The fire fighter looks a little closer and notices the
girl has tied one wagon leash to the dog's collar and one to the cat's testicles.

"Little Partner," the fire fighter says, "I don't want to tell you how to run your fire truck, but if you were to tie that rope around the cat's collar, I think you could probably go a lot faster." The little girl pauses for a moment to think, looks at the wagon, at the dog and at the cat, then shyly looks up into the fireman's eyes and says......
"You're probably right, but then I wouldn't have a siren, would I?!"

LOL!

Glad to see the old 'joke thread' on this forum too

Hehehe, that was a good one

hahaha ROFL =))