Cerberus guild

by **Hejiro** » Mon Aug 19, 2002 10:05 pm

Four Omnis were in an open truck that had run into the lake. The one in the front driver's seat escaped unharmed, but the three in the back bed drowned -- they couldn't get the tailgate open!

by **Felicity** » Tue Aug 20, 2002 3:31 am

by **Hejiro** » Tue Aug 20, 2002 4:58 pm

Two Omnis were out shooting wingbags (those geese things). One took aim and hit a bird which tumbled out of the sky to land at his feet. "Ah, you should have saved the bullet," said the other. "The fall would have killed him, anyway."

by **Hejiro** » Wed Aug 21, 2002 8:23 pm

"Paddy," asked the barmaid, "what are those two bulges in the front of your trousers?"
"Ah," said Paddy. "They're hand grenades. Next time that queer O'Flaherty
comes feeling my balls, I'll blow his bloody fingers off!"

*wince*

by **Hejiro** » Wed Aug 21, 2002 8:24 pm

Oooookay... I think that's enough dumb jokes.

by **Coldraven** » Wed Aug 21, 2002 8:50 pm

No no, don't stop doing them

Keep them coming

by **Felicity** » Thu Aug 22, 2002 1:39 am

by **Hejiro** » Thu Aug 22, 2002 4:23 pm

Okay, here we go. I'll try to find some more Omni-based ones

An Irish priest and a Rabbi found themselves sharing a compartment on a train. After a while, the priest opened a conversation by saying "I know that, in your religion, you're not supposed to eat pork... Have you actually ever tasted it?

The Rabbi said, "I must tell the truth. Yes, I have, on the odd occasion." Then the Rabbi had his turn of interrogation. He asked, "Your religion, too... I know you're suposed to be celibate. But...."

The priest replied, "Yes, I know what you're going to ask. I have succumbed once or twice."

There was silence for a while. Then the Rabbi peeped around the newspaper he was reading and said, "Better than pork, isn't it?"

by **Felicity** » Fri Aug 23, 2002 12:46 am

Hihihi

by **Hejiro** » Sun Aug 25, 2002 5:58 pm

How do you sink an Omni submarine?
Knock on the hatch!

by **Hejiro** » Mon Aug 26, 2002 4:16 pm

Did you hear about the Omni who was tap dancing?
He broke his ankle when he fell into the sink!

by **Cogs** » Tue Aug 27, 2002 12:41 am

Hihihihi, you crazy aussie!!

Keep em coming, nothing like a good laugh to start the day!

Cogs

by **Hejiro** » Tue Aug 27, 2002 1:42 am

You know, now that Felicity and Cogs have both done it, I've got to ask....... what is "Hihihi"? LOL! Is that a cross between "hahaha" and "hehehe"?

I honestly haven't seen "hi" used for laughter! :lol:

by **Coldraven** » Tue Aug 27, 2002 8:27 am

Hihihi, is the 3rd form of laughing.

You got: hahaha, hehehe and hihihi
lol is short for: laughing out loadly

by **Hejiro** » Tue Aug 27, 2002 4:24 pm

O'Neil was walking home from the pub one night when lo and behold he sees one of the Little Folk. He sneaks up and catches him in his stare and demands three wishes for the little mans freedom. "Granted" says the man in green, "but whatever I do for you, O'Reily will get twofold!" Now O'Reily is no friend of O'Neil, in fact they hate each other, but O'Neil agrees.
"For my first wish I'd like a mansion full of expensive antiques and
beautiful women."
"Granted, and of course O'Reily gets two!"
"For my second wish I'd like a beautiful, sexy, redheaded nymphomaniac."
"Granted, and of course O'Reily gets two women."
Now by this stage O'Neil is pissed off, the hated O'Reily getting two mansions and two nymphomaniacs. Suddenly inspiration hits him.
"For my third wish, I want you to remove one of my testicles!"

Well.. at least he won't needta worry 'bout kids...

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