Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Heaven, God went missing for six
days.
Eventually, Michael the archangel found him, resting on the seventh day.
He inquired of God, "Where have you been?"
God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction and proudly pointed downwards
through the clouds,
"Look Michael, look what I've made."
Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, "What is it?"
"It's a planet," replied God,
"And I've put LIFE on it. I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to
be a great place of balance."
"Balance?" inquired Michael, still confused.
God explained, pointing to different parts of Earth,
"For example, North America will be a place of great opportunity and
wealth while South America is going to be poor".
"Over there I've placed a continent of white people and over there is a
continent of black people."
God continued, pointing to different countries.
"This one will be extremely hot and arid while this one will be very
cold and covered in ice."
The Archangel, impressed by God's work, then pointed to a small,
populated area in the landmass of Great Britain and said, "What's that?"
"Ah," said God. "That's Greater Manchester, the most glorious place on
Earth. There are beautiful lakes, rivers, streams, and hills, great
music a world dominating football team, the people from Greater
Manchester are going to be modest, intelligent and humorous and they're
going to be found travelling the world. They'll be extremely sociable,
hard-working and high-achieving, and they will be known throughout the
world as diplomats and carriers of peace."
Michael gasped in wonder and admiration but then proclaimed, "What about
balance, God? You said there would be balance!"
God replied wisely, "Wait until you see the lazy, thieving b** stards
I'm putting next to them in Merseyside."
/me lives in Merseyside ((((